It’s sad.. It’s sad that so many people feel obliged to tell me that I do not fight for my baby, love my baby or miss my baby.
First of all, I was absolutely heart broken when he was taken.. It shattered my world.
A couple of days after, I spoke with the social worker for the first time, and I started to reflect and tried to see what I’d done wrong.
My self harming, was one thing, then there was all of the things with Jannick.
I quickly realized that in order to get my child back home, I would have to get better mentally.
Therefore I started seeing things in a different light.
The reason why he cannot come home right now, (even though my SW actually worked towards reunification, within a very short amount of time) is because Denmark has taken jurisdiction over him, which means that he could be send back to Denmark.
What Denmark doesn’t realize is the fact that Kyle has a pending asylum case, and an A Number therefore he’s authorized to stay in the US until the case is settled and Denmark actually has no rights to claim him back.
You guys do not live with us, and you can’t talk about what I do for my son or not.
It is the most disgusting thing to talk about other people like that.
What you people don’t know, is that despite of my happiness with my boyfriend, I cry myself to sleep every single night holding my baby’s pyjamas.
We cry together, my mother my boyfriend and I.
I will always love and fight for my son, and I am doing everything I can to stop him from going to Denmark.
And just so you know, my boyfriend is far from passive, in this case.
He has been and is a tremendous help and support.
Kyle, if you ever read this I want you to know that mommy loves you and misses you, and I’m doing everything I can to keep you with us.
You’re the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me, and I’m eternally sorry for what I’ve put you through
So with homelessness often follows a lack of money, which can be pretty frustrating.
In the start, we didn’t know how to make money, cause we were mostly by ourselves, and we didn’t have a network.
We slowly started to build up a network of friends that was in the same or a similar situation or at least has tried it themselves.
They taught us ways to make money, which is mostly panhandling or “demonstrating”.
See, panhandling can be done in many ways, some people go around asking people for money, which is actually illegal, and you can get a fine and worst case scenario a jail sentence, and other people simply stand at the side of the highway, with a sign and people drives up and hands you the money.
That in itself is not illegal, the only ones who has the power and jurisdiction to throw you away is the highway patrol, otherwise you’re good.
My mother is the one that’s best with the highway, she makes good good money.
I’m better at walking up to people and getting a dollar, sometimes people comes up to me and hands it.
The difference between my mother and I, is that she is very shy, and doesn’t like to ask people, so she’s way better with a sign.
I’m good at talking to people, cause I’m very open and smiling and talkative.
What saddens me is the fact, that a lot of the people in Denmark sees it as something bad, and believe that it’s only junkies and alcoholics and bad people that does it, but I’ve actually met quite a few with families and children and such, who’s just trying to survive.
It’s an interesting city, and people are very good at helping others and taking care of the homeless.
So.. Since I was 13 I’ve had this brilliant crazy idea, that I wanted to write a book.
I’ve been writing page after page page after page, but I haven’t really come any further.
Not long ago, someone wrote me, and told me that I should try and write a book, and I thought why the hell not.
I love love love writing, and I thought that it would be an interesting project to write about my life as a houseless girl in Los Angeles.
So I got a notebook, and started writing.
However, my problem is, that I do not have a computer, and when I can’t find my notebook I write in something else, like my phone or another notebook or pad, and then it becomes really unorganized.
The good thing about me though is that when I put my head into something, I’ll usually finish it.
Also, my time as houseless has made me a little rough and very forward, I don’t filter things anymore and I speak my mind completely and utterly truthfully, I really don’t care if I hurt someone, cause I don’t baby anyone anymore.
On the streets, you have to be tough otherwise people will try and fuck with you, and if one person, mess with you usually others will too.
I will try and do weekly posts with bits of my work, so you can get a feeling of what it’s about.
I chose to get a little break for some time, while I settled over here in God’s own country.
I’m back now, and will try to be as active as possible, however I won’t promise that I’ll write everyday.
For those who does not speak or read English, please use
www.Translate.google.com
So first and foremost excuse my English, and spelling errors.
Most of you, my readers knows that I’m a Danish born citizen, and homeless in America.
Most of the time it works out very well.. It’s not the ideal situation, but I e accepted it, and I’m working hard on getting the situation stable.
I’ve met many many people while being homeless, good and bad, I’ve seen a lot of things, and seen the darker side of Los Angeles.
I’ve been on the streets, behind churches, in churches, in shelters, at friends houses, in parking lots, in garages, etc.
A lot of people associate homelessness with addictions and alcohol abuse, and yes there is a truth to that unfortunately, however most of the people are good people, who was just very unfortunate.
I met my boyfriend through another friend, who had been helping out my mother and Kyle for a night, I chose to stay on the streets to let them have a place to stay at.
My boyfriend helped my mother with our dog, cause my other friend couldn’t have pets in her apartment.
When I met my boyfriend, my thought was, damn he’s a weirdo, and truthfully hi actually is, but he is a sweetheart.
He has his own issues unfortunately, but what I absolutely loved about him from the beginning was the fact that he loved my son.
Let me give you a little background on him.
He is 37 years old, natural born American citizen.
Has 3 children, from other relationships, and he’s a previous drug addict currently withdrawing.
First of all, I’ve always said that I would never get together with anyone over 30 years old.. I’ve also always said that I would never date someone who was smoking or had kids.
Lastly I’ve always said that I would never date someone who’s on drugs.
When I met him, my first thought was that he was a weirdo.. I was mean to him, and gave him the elevator look and left.
However I felt a strong connection, it was almost ureal.
I didn’t see him for another week or two, and when I met him again, we sat outside of a grocery store for the whole night.
I actually told him that he didn’t have to sit with me, but he insisted in staying with me and I couldn’t really refuse.
I couldn’t really sleep as I hate sleeping on the streets, so we just sat and talked.
I started feeling butterflies in my tummy and that’s when I knew that I was falling in love with him.
I cuddled up in his arm, and sat there until sunrise.
Yah, sorry for being a little poetic, but it’s true.
I was keeping an eye on Kyle and my mom, who slept in the parking garage.
I had a feeling from the beginning that he was doing drugs, I think non druggies sense that, however
He really didn’t show it, when he were high I wouldn’t notice, except a little slower speech and
Actions.
After that night he was basically attached to my hip – my choice, I kinda forced him
to be there, he didn’t leave my sight and I didn’t leave his.
We pretty quickly both accepted our feelings and proceeded into a relationship,
After me fucking up, and sleeping with another guy – dummie.
I love him dearly, but honestly it has been pretty Rocky.. I’m not in doubt, I wanna
Spend the rest of my life with him, but I also have to admit that an withdrawing addict can
Be pretty unstable.
Even though he’s unstable, he’s still the sweetest idiotic piece of shit I’ve ever met.
Not only is he very calm, he’s also very understanding, very loving and caring, a perfect listener
And incredibly good at giving compliments.
I absolutely love to crawl into his arms and fall asleep on his chest at night.
He is definitely the one that I want my next children with, and the one that I want to
Marry.
I know that loving a drug addict, or let me say a recovering drug addict is probably one of the
Stupidest things that I could do, but I can say from the bottom of my heart that I absolutely
Truly love him, with my heart and soul.
